stressed.

I don't know what I have to do to get a decent grade in that class! It's driving me insane. Test two, better than the first, but still not good enough. Ugh. I hate you 8am class!
Time to change my study habits - seriously, and limit distractions... internet world, that means you.

I need to relax.
Thank God for this weekend...
then it's all work and no play for me to get them A's.
Haha. Ugh.

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It's official, I can't study at home.
I need a study buddy.

Like this one. Hahaha!

VROOOM!

More and more I am starting to believe that I truly do fit in with a lot more males than females. And for the few females that I do befriend, all seem to have similar interests with our counter-parts.

It's not a shocking revelation of mine, just an observation that became quite clear today while engaging in conversation with some classmates while awaiting our results of our midterm.
(Which I did OK with, I know I could've done better if I studied earlier and actually got some rest last night, but that's besides the point of this blog.)

I was surprised with how comfortable I've become when talking with new people. I have never carried a conversation with the group of people whom I chatted with today and I must say it was very interesting. 3 guys, 2 gals... sounds like a typical situation I'm very used to. But instead of the normal dialog that I'm familiar with i.e., sports, movies, music, etc., I was faced with something that I haven't discussed in ages: motorcycles.

Of all things that to talk about, motorcycles. I was fine in the beginning of the conversation when we were chatting about classes, majors, personalities, and other things (including cars) because I was able to follow, but they total winded me with that topic. I'm guessing it was partly because of me that the topic came up, because as a girl, my nature is to bitch and complain about almost everything. So, bringing up the fact that I have to commute from home to CSUN twice a week and having to deal with traffic, one of the guys suggested that I should get a bike -- and the conversation continues, basically between two people whilst the remaining three stand there listening.

I need a refresher course on my bikes now. It's been a while. Haha. I've always wanted to learn how to ride a bike (and when I say bike, I mean motorcycle) but I know very few people who own one. Oh well.
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Another thing I noticed today was body language.
(With my lack of sleep, I become very observant. I suppose it's a way for me to stay awake.)

Male and female stances are completely different while in conversation with one another.
I was surprised that I actually noticed something like this but you can't really help it when you feel completely lost in a conversation.
So.. Males, when engaged in a conversation in which they are comfortable, then to stand upright, with their chest slightly protruded, seeming somewhat dominating, with their heads held up high and arms crossed to emphasizes their confidence. Males who have difficulty in finding common ground in a conversation tend to shy away, have their heads lowered and shoulders slightly elevated. Females however tend to be a bit more at ease with their stances while males try to keep that masculine image of being intimidating. Well, for the most part.

All of this from a 20-25 minute conversation with people whom I recently just met... and I didn't even know all of their names.
That'll change in the next few weeks.
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I've been blogging quite a bit lately.
Nothing to hide, I suppose.
And it helps me organize my thoughts.

change comes with time.

"I'm a new man."

So he says.

I don't know whether to believe it or not.
It is possible to change within a year, ergo my experience in doing the same.
But is it enough to convince and sway me to letting down my guard enough for curiosity to get a taste of whatever this is?
I am slightly conflicted between my gut-feeling and my logic.
It's a tad frustrating only because answers to my questions have been quite vague.
Then again, "it's not what they say, it's what they do," correct?

What to do, what to do?

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I need a good massage.
College campuses need to provide spa treatments to students.
Or at least have a place where we can relax, dammit.
And I mean, REALLY relax.
The Library and Student Unions DON'T COUNT!