waterworks.

I'll Be There For You by Bon Jovi

STUPID SONG MADE ME CRY! Hmph.

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Ugh. WHY?! Why must I let my emotions get the best of me?

I was doing fine.

Why did you have to come back into my life NOW?

I thought it wouldn't phase me. That I could just use the whole 'cold shoulder' routine and get back to my own merry way. But it seems like it's backfiring on me. I know I should continue to be strong and resist but my gut feeling stirs me the opposite direction. I wouldn't normally be so forgiving of someone who hurt me so drastically, and I know I'm a fool if I decide to go back that direction. I don't want to back track. I want to move forward without having to look back.

But maybe looking back will help me move forward?

I can't ignore the fact that there's still unfinished business in my past that I haven't tried to deal with. I just tucked it underneath the piles of things I want/need to do, obviously so I can forget about it. Surprisingly enough, that "problem" resurfaced and I am absolutely torn.

Do I keep resisting? Do I continue to do what I'm doing, ignore my gut feeling, and just keep convincing myself with the logical thing to do? Or, do I give in? Do I find a way to make room for a small possibility of change and a second chance to see what could be? Either way, my guard is not coming down unless I know for sure what this is.

I'm confused.


Ugh. Why now.