People are funny.

"You should try out for American Idol."

I have heard that "suggestion" ever since the end of the first season of AI and I'm constantly reminded by different people when they hear me sing. And of course, I just laugh. The thought of going on live television, "showing off" my God-given talent to the whole world with the possibility of being shot down by three influential people in entertainment is just preposterous.

I sit here and laugh at the hundreds, even thousands, of people who believe they sound incredible when in reality they are just a big joke. I'd rather not be in their shoes. The things people do for their 15 minutes of fame. Some people really need to listen to themselves and COMPARE themselves critically to the pros. Maybe people do that, but really... do people hear themselves?!

But who am I to say what is talent and what is not. I've been told to "prove people wrong" and to "share my talent" ... but for what reasons? Yes, I do love singing. I am a singer; there isn't a day that goes by that I don't blast my music loud enough for me to sing along to. But what do I have to prove? That I CAN sing? I know I can. I may sound arrogant at the moment, but I know I sound 100% better than those who go on that show and humiliate themselves. (They COULD be hired actors/actresses for all we know, or not.) But going on a show to sing to the world competing against other people who most likely sing a hell of a lot better than I do would just increase some of the insecurities I already carry.

"But you never know."

True. But I'd rather not know. Not knowing saves myself from embarrassment and humiliation.
I must admit, I have considered going for the hell of it, for a laugh, and to get people off my back about trying out. It hasn't happened yet, and I doubt it'll happen any time soon. So, I sing for pleasure. I share it with people I feel most comfortable with and who already know I can sing. That's it. It explains my anti-posting on youtube, and myspace music of myself singing attitude.


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M: "Damn, I wish I had Christina Aguilera's voice"
E: "yeah, now she has a voice. I wish I had Eddie Van Halen's guitar"

Haha!