Sacrifice

Sacrifice.

A metaphorical term used to describe "self-less" acts of good.

But can sacrifice really be "self-less"?

Sacrificing something can never be self-less, in my eyes, for there is always the desire or expectation of gaining something during the process of that sacrifice. Whether that desire/expectation may be a conscious one or not, there will always be something that one wants to gain eventually.

Sacrifice, in my case, was unconsciously done for my selfish needs/wants.

It was done to be able to learn and grow.
I wanted to learn.
I wanted to live; to do things without examining all repercussions before hand.
I wanted to experience different things and meet new people...
Without having to feel like I was being held back or seek approval of my preconceived notions from those I hold near and dear to me.

But was that sacrifice necessary initially?

Possibly.

Yet, it's brought chaos into my social circle unintentionally.

How do I break this "cold war"?
Should I be brave enough to break this tension that I take partial responsibility for?
Or should I just leave it alone, wait, and hope for the best?

I can't take the easy way out. It doesn't exist.

To save a friendship after a fallout seems like the most difficult thing to do right now.

And this time, I really can't take my own advice.

I'm losing people who I truly care about.

It hurts.

But why must I let pain prevent me from living?

I shouldn't.

But am I willing to let years of friendship slip away because of my stubbornness?

In time.