damned, that's for sure.

Well, not literally. But in a sense, I am.
I have plummeted myself into a situation that I possibly may not be able to avoid. Because of my lack of motivation and the workload I willingly chose this semester, I made my situation worse than it had to be. Earning at least a 2.0 would have taken me off of AP. Yes, I was on AP this semester.. unfortunately. But it looks like there's a huge possibility of me not being able to return to CSUN until I get myself off of that "probation/disqualified" list.

How that works? I have no clue.

I don't have anyone else to blame for my shortcomings. I just wasn't feeling up to it this semester. I've tried so many times to assure myself that I would do all this work but it just became too overwhelming to bare it all.

I never realized how anxious I get when it comes to writing papers until this afternoon. I don't think I've ever read articles so quickly in my life. And typed a paper so fast that I practically had to pull all the 'bullshit' I know out of my ass (figuratively speaking) in order to reach the 2 page minimum. But that feeling of anxiety was not fun. I wanted to give up. I almost did. But something urged me on. I don't know what it was. Maybe that there could be a slight possibility that this professor would give me a chance to turn in things in order for me to at least pass the damn class.

I really can't say.

I just know that if I can't work my "magic" with the professors of my online classes, then I'm screwed and I'd have to talk to my adviser to see what I would have to do to save my ass at CSUN. Haha.

I hate that school. UGH.

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You see why I haven't blogged? :P
But it did help to get that out.

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Back to work for me. Trying to make up all this stuff before grades are finalized. God, I hate electronic grading now. UGH.